By: Mason Rheinhardt This past Thursday marked the first day of July, as well as the end of pride month. However, the end of pride month wasn’t discussed in the second Gender and Sexuality Forum meeting; instead, Allies, Allyship, and Coming Out were the main topics of the evening. The firepit behind Brewer was packed for the second time in a row as GSE students not only filled up the outer circle, but the majority of the grass space within and outside of it as well, sitting on towels while engaging and listening to the conversation (while still elbow spaced apart). The first topic of discussion was how to be a good ally. This was defined as someone who is not a member of a particular community but still gives their full, although naturally imperfect, dedication to the triumphs and struggles to those in said community. The general consensus was that being a good ally meant being inherently honest and open, which includes not being afraid to ask questions, actively listening, immersing and educating yourself in order to be informed, and continuing the conversation of sexuality and orientation when it's brought up instead of panicking or shying away from it. Kiyoshi Carter, Director of GSF, brought up an example of his own personal experience as a member of the LGBTQ+ community in the discussion of how to be a good ally: “When people love and care about us, they behave in ways that make absolutely no sense.” This is to say that your friends who are a part of the LGBTQ+ community don’t need a rainbow-themed party or cake, but rather someone to go to a movie with. The best way to show your love and allyship to someone in the community is to be there and show up as a friend.
However, there are many harmful ways to respond to someone coming out. Plenty of coming out horror stories were shared, as students discussed anyone from parents or friends to teachers responding unfavorably.. As a general synopsis, there is a major difference between “I don’t care, I still love you and support you,” and “I don’t care.” Other problematic phrases discussed included “Oh, I know,” “I hope you don’t have a crush on me,” and “I love you, but I can’t support that lifestyle.” Statements that focus the conversation on yourself instead of the person coming out defeat the purpose of the discussion and hurt the person coming out. When someone comes out to you, they are making an intentional decision. When someone is coming out to you, match their tone. If the conversation is casual, your response should be casual, if it’s serious, give a serious response, etc. Empathy and validation are two different things. For example, saying “I’m so sorry that you have to go through this” is different from “thank you for telling me, your trust means a lot to me.” This past GSF meeting included lots of productive discussion about issues bigger than coming out, including the emphasis of normalizing introductions with pronouns, starting Gay-Straight alliances at your high school, and more esoteric topics about whether the discussion of coming out and allyship should be more briefly mentioned in order to focus on immediate issues happening in the LGBTQ+ community. A beautiful aphorism from Ferris, a Social Science instructor, that encapsulated the message of the forum was that it shouldn’t be considered coming out, but rather welcoming in. Being inclusive, authentic, and understanding are the best things that we can do with regard to the LGBTQ+ community. We should all recognize that it is not the responsibility of an LGBTQ+ person to come out, but rather it is all of our responsibilities to remain accepting as we give love and support to welcome those people in.
0 Comments
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
ABOUT THE EAST SIDE STORYThe ESS is the story of us... the story of the GSE. Our goal is provide the Governor's School East with coverage of everything GSE -- events, interest pieces, highlights, and issues. After reading the East Side Story, we hope you're informed, enlightened about the happiest day at Governor's School East. CATEGORIES
All
|